i got a hustler's spirit

not talking is so much easier

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 21:28:29 GMT

the only reason i like driving to work is days like that.

mini-vacation

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 18:27:25 GMT

this is what Max looks like after rummaging around under the bed.

needless to say, i busted out the swiffers today.

little brat.

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 04:48:28 GMT

i really want my own business.

just a place to be creative and do whatever i want.

but i want to cook, take photographs, sew and design.... and i can't just fucking pick one already.

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 16:33:01 GMT

just another lazy afternoon

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 01:25:40 GMT

roberto cavalli for H&M!

i just shit my pants.

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 21:46:00 GMT

Toy-Ann is coming to beat my mom up sometime today.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 02:29:19 GMT

um. mexico in 30 hours. and shut up about not drinking the water.

i'm gonna come back like a burnt crispy! wheeeeeee!

vacations come and gone too late

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 02:17:37 GMT

you have no idea what i'm trying to do, do you?

things are good, for the most part. i got a new job at faulkner honda, i'm a service assistant. woop. it doesn't sound very exciting, but it's a lot of work so i'm always busy, and that's just how i like it. i'm happy. i feel like i have nothing to do because i have nothing to worry about. it's a strange situation to be in considering the rut i was in. i haven't had any anxiety attacks in a while. well, one, a few weeks ago, but it passed fairly well. i feel a little weird right now, but it's almost a sick, sad type of happiness, which i guess is always good for the soul.

the book i'm writing is going well. it's simple, innocent, clever, and aware. it's kind of how i wish i came across sometimes. i like it. i don't care if nobody else will.

i miss a lot of people. people i haven't seen/talked to in a long time. (long for me being weeks or years) some of the people i wish would open their eyes and be willing to take what i'm willing to give. i'm not willing to give much, and it might not help shit, but i'll still be there. and even if they decide to forget, i'm a sucker, so i'll still be there.

the new jack's mannequin album takes me through a lot. it makes me want to fall in love. it makes me believe that everything will be okay. it makes me feel like i'm just getting ready to fall down again. it makes me think of winter & what you'd be like.

just stuff. but i'm good. yup.

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 12:17:31 GMT

alright, boston is amazing. shit i miss it up there more than ever right now. the trip up took longer than expected. i got stuck in a few traffic jams... more like 4, but whatever. i got to nick's around 11:45. nick, mikey, balbi, bill & simal were there, so we just chilled and watched a movie, then passed out. saturday i was up around 10:30 but didnt leave nick's until closer to noon, i drove around boston, stopped to see josh at work and he told me that he & jess were playing a show at some cafe in brigham circle... so i should call caren or pete and meet up with them. so that was decided, and i drove around some more. somehow i got lost in charlestown, which is mob f-ing central, so i once i got out of there and into cambridge i felt a little bit better. somehow got back to nick's via I95 and we got fridays and sat on our asses for a bit. then i stopped in the old store, saw a few folks, and headed back into boston to meet up with caren. caren, pete, george & i then proceeded to brigham circle to see josh & jess play, met up with a few others i haven't seen in awhile... then wu, bracken, rachel & the other nick showed up. we all decided to head back to the unit household. wu's finally 21 which is sweet. bracken & rachel are still fucking adorable together and it makes me want to throw up. nick is still adorable too, but he seemed a little off... not much like himself, and that sucks. but josh & jess sounded good. it was a fun time. i crashed on josh's lower bunk and woke up sunday at 9:30am. then headed to Rhode Island for the ballgame. had a heart attack because i thought he wasn't there. felt better when he was. almost drove the whole way to boston, got a call from arrigo, went to north attleboro, got fucking lost for fucking ever, saw a softball game, got a bunch of misquito bites, crashed at the old apt. at like 2:30 am... woke up monday at 1, haha, didnt do crap... monday night was a clusterfuck and i'm not even really sure what happened. i know i almost ended up driving back to PA at 7pm, but then turned around in Hartford for whatever fucking reason. Nick was an asshole. Got drunk. Woke up at 10 on tuesday and bounced.

now i'm home and i want to go back so bad. i'm still in boston mode, thinking i can buy everything i need at the packy-store and bang lefts as soon as the light turns green... but i can't. oh well.

i missed kari :( boo. that fucking sucks. i also missed amander, jason, caleb, and alan... but i did see KC who i hadn't seen in like 2 years, which was cool. had good conversations. VERY good conversations in fact... said some things and heard some things that i never would have expected.

lease is up in february. who needs a roomie? :)

p.s. can we just discuss this jason mraz cd for a second? i bought it when i stopped into circuit in millbury to see mike on my way home tuesday morning, because i've been looking forward to it for a month now... and i must say... i'm not too happy. i guess i just wish it was a little bit more raw. a little less productive, a little more acoustic. and little more focus on the vocals, because the kid can sing, you know? maybe you could've just thrown on a bonus track that was you & a guitar, one take, even if you messed it up. i just... argh. it's good but i wish it was better and i hate that.

p.p.s. the book is going great :) i love this shit.

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 12:30:30 GMT

just because everyone else says it better than i ever could sometimes...

it takes two to fall in love
but only one has to pull the plug
and then you're left alone
just like that...
an open space on my wall
where your pictures hung before
there is dark holes...
inside them I see
the emptyness thats inside of me
you took away a part of me
cause i cant be around you
you took away my confidence
can I live without you?
without you, with out you.....
can i live without you?!
I approach you say stay away
my heart it drops
my body shakes
in spite you've turned your world around
and it spins me around
my world is filled with muffled sounds
its funny how a thought of you
can pick me up and put me down
you pull me down.

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 12:31:01 GMT

oh geez i'm exhausted. yep, definitely woke up fiften minutes AFTER i was supposed to be at work this morning. but shit, here i am at work updating my livejournal... so it's not like this job even MATTERS, but oh well. let's see... last night I bought the best jeans ever. :) Now I gotta break them in before the weekend. I also bought brand new socks last night... and putting on a brand new pair of socks is by far one of the best feelings in the world. If I were disgustingly rich, I would definitely not wear the same pair of socks twice. And I bought the new Finch cd, which is definitely worth the $13 I spent on it.

Soooo... friday night at 4:30 I'm leaving for Boston. It's gonna be awesome! There's so much stuff I have to do while I'm up there though. Obviously see the old roomies & that crew, then the old work crew (or as much as I can assemble), and I also have to drive to R.I. to see Mr. Bailey play a game (oh snap). I'm thinking I'll do that Sunday, because it's a day game, then drive back up to see Kari, because she's going to be in NH until Sunday night. So Saturday it's just me & the boys, or just me downtown with the old crew. I definitely have to hit up some shopping too. Monday it's hang out with Amanderrrrrrr day.

But in the next 2 nights I have a ton of shit to do. I need, NEED, to clean out my car ASAP. I think something is growing in there. Then I have to do some damn laundry, because my house IS a giant laundry basket. Maybe hit up the game tonight for a bit. Clean up my mom's house because people are looking at it tonight. Clean my house & assemble all the fun things I got from IKEA that I haven't touched because I can't find my drill.

Yeah, this isn't really a fun post. Just a way to keep my shit in check, and to say i'm GOD DAMN EXCITED for this weekend.

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 18:05:38 GMT

i'm so tired. i'm tired of everything. i don't think anyone realizes how screwed up my head is half the time. i'm constantly being irrational and acting on ridiculous impulses, and i really can't control it anymore. and i'm tired of trying and giving to everybody and getting nothing in return.

the weekend can't come soon enough.

i can't wait to go home. i miss it.

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 02:34:28 GMT

i've decided i'm actually worthy of being picky & not settling.

so find me this guy:

he has green eyes.
he understands why i stand at petsmart for 40 minutes just watching the kitties.
he buys me blizzards when i'm sad.
he goes to baseball games with me when i'm happy.
he doesn't make his bed.
he has good taste in music and doesn't mind spending a sunday afternoon driving around for hours just singing at the top of our lungs. (windows down, of course)
he has nice shoulders.
he likes talking about nothing and everything at the same time.
he's intelligent.
he hugs me in the morning and the evening. (if possible)
he likes breakfast & b-movies in bed.

so if you know who that guy is, or where the fuck i could find him that'd be super if you could tell me.

ok thanks.

:)

get busy living or get busy dying

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 15:44:34 GMT

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But we never stood a chance
And I'm not sure if it matters
If you are the shores, I am the waves begging for big moons
I'm mailing letters to addresses in a ghost town

Your secrets out
I know it hurts, it was meant to
Your secrets out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over matter

This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
But it must be said again that all us girls are just screaming
Into microphones for attention
Because we're just so bored
We never knew that you would pick it apart, oh
I'm falling apart to songs about hips and hearts

Your secrets out
I know it hurts, it was meant to
Your secrets out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over matter

I used to obsess over living,
Now I only obsess over you
Tell me you'd like girls like me better
In the dark lying on top of you
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters
This has been said so many times that I'm not sure if it matters

I know it hurts, it was meant to
Your secrets out and the best part is it isn't even a good one
And it's mind over matter

From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address on the same old lonliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address on the same old lonliness
And this is you and me and me and you until we've got nothing left

you don't have to wear that dress tonight

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 14:18:07 GMT

I just got back from my lunch break and while I was at my mom's house, eating all her food, I was looking at old pictures and thinking about all the stuff I can and can't remember about my life. It's ironic because earlier last week I just started writing about my life. Everything I could think of, and it was all just a blur. Nothing could come out in the right order... and all I just wanted to do was write. So it's just a big blob of everything with no direction. So now I'm thinking... What will I remember 20 years from now?

Waking up next to my grandmother's bed right after my parent's divorce and being 100% positive that nobody was coming back to get me. Sticking a raisin up my nose when I was 2 years old and having my mom freaking out in the bathroom while she was trying to get it out, and the whole time I was laughing hysterically, standing on my sesame street stool. Waking up on the couch in our apartment with some random guy there, who later turned out to be my mom's boyfriend at the time, and asking him to help me build a house with my legos. Getting my finger run over by the wagon my mom used to drag my butt around in because we didn't have a car and we had to walk everywhere. Sunday morning runs to the corner store in that wagon to get the newspaper and 'goodies'. Sitting at my grandparents house, drawing, wearing that purple shirt and needing a haircut badly. Riding on the see-saw at daycare when I was 3, and then BAM, getting hit by a tire swing and flying off. Little Minnie Pearl, and her crazy ways. Picking out Willie, and arguing with my mom because she wanted a black tiger kitty, and I refused. Getting the shit kicked out of me at age 9 by the babysitter's son. My mom and I moving in with her second husband, and thinking that was great because I got bunk beds. Sitting on the fence at Bland's Park while my cousin and grandma won me a giant stuffed snoopy that was bigger than I was for a long time. Leroy, Mickey and Bart, with and without the folded ear. The permanent kool-aid mustache that is evident in every picture taken of me from age 2 until age 4. Waking up every Christmas and getting what I needed, not what I wanted, but understanding the situation long before I should have. That ugly brown linoleum in the kitchen of our first apartment in Mount Joy. Putting a rain spout across two branches outside that apartment and sitting up there for hours with Kevin Buss talking about the cars that drove by. Wearing that god-awful bridesmaid dress to my mother's second wedding, poofy sleeves and flower print, and hating every second of it. My mom getting her heel caught in the flooring of the gazebo during her second wedding. Getting a nosebleed while eating a snickers bar and my step-dad was outside mowing the lawn at our new house. Sun poisoning every summer. Collecting eggs at the barn with my grandmother. The view from my grandparent's house. Listening in to all the conversations between my mother and stepfather after she told him she wanted a divorce. Driving through Pottstown with my dad & aunt Tracey for my uncle Stuart’s wedding and them telling me about this town that had a fire underneath it, thus resulting in me freaking out for the rest of the weekend. Playing football at recess with the guys in elementary school, and always getting ridiculed until I made one touchdown catch, and then they let me play every day. Standing in the corner of our third bedroom with my stepfather ready to whoop my ass. The many boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese I have consumed while visiting my grandmother. Wearing a t-shirt over my bathing suit the summer after I hit puberty. Having braces, a back brace and glasses all at one time.... that's hot. Bitching out Mr. Metzler in 7th grade. Being a little shit from age 12 until age 14. Mrs. Kline and her insistence on living in the 80's although it was well past 1999. The Presnells... all 10 of them. Aaron Kuhn and that first kiss. Cleverly avoiding having my picture in the yearbook. The Escort and it's zebra seat covers. Donuts and floating devices every morning before school. Standing in my mom's hotel room in Boston the day before I started college and crying my eyes out because I was scared out of my mind. Amanda, me & a bottle of Bacardi razz. My stripper roommate, oy vey. The first thing Mike ever said to me: "Do you like black guys? Cuz you got a big ass". Sean, his full sleeves and how gorgeous he will always be. Sex & The City marathons with the girls. Walking by Pizza Stop with Kari just so we could check out the pizza guys. Every single second of being on the rotten T. Ty Osborne and his flame shoes.. uh huh, uh huh. Sitting at the picnic table outside of the dorms with Alex Wray. February 20, 2004. Cameron and all the times he would just stop in and play me a song, or let me snuggle with him. Cameron singing Jimmy Eat World and making me cry. The Chub Party and Mr. Ryan O'Leary. Steve Paul's cat and the countless evenings spent drinking in his trashy studio apartment. The letter Mike wrote me before I left Boston that he made me read in front of him, and I got about 3 sentences deep before I couldn't see the words anymore. The Red Sox winning the World Series: Fenway, riot police, tear gas, awesome. Getting my first real job and the excitement and fear that came with it. Quitting my first real job and the fear and disappointment that came along with it. My first game at Fenway Park, and the hot dogs. Scrabble with my mom, my aunt and Grammy. Every car I've ever owned deciding it would be a great idea to leak antifreeze. Thanksgiving at Kari's house in Vermont. The drive to Binghamton, NY just to see one last game. Quincy Foster, Kelsey & I tworkulatin'. Norwich, CT at the end of the season, 2003. Telling my mother that I might as well never get married because I won't love anybody more than I love her.

That’s it. That’s all I can remember. There might be a few simple additions later on at some point. Anything that happens from this point on I will log in a secure environment, and in 21 years from now, I’ll write another one. Sorry if you actually read all that.

will you be able to tell me you're sorry with a straight face?

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 14:04:59 GMT

Since last Monday I've been answering the phones at L.B. Smith LM/Jaguar and to be completely honest.... it fucking sucks. Yeah, I can appreciate the fact that I have a job now, temporary or not, but I really don't think I can make it through this week answering phones and reading sappy novels about falling in love and making things happen and how everyone's so fucking happy. I'm not happy. I don't know what makes me happy. I have no motivation to be happy, because I'm happy being unhappy. Figure that shit out.

I want things but I don't want to work for them. I want them to fall into my lap, easy as pie. I'm selfish, but in all reality I give up a lot of shit for other people. I just like to hear myself say I want something, because it makes me feel like I have a fucking goal.

I want a new car. I want it to have tinted windows and be dark and mysterious. I want it to be fast and too expensive. I want to buy every type of modification for it and put them all on myself. I want to fall in love. I want to feel loved. I don't know what that concept is, so I want to risk it all, throw caution to the wind and dive in. I want you to break my heart. I want to hurt. I want to know how it feels to lose something when you don't do anything to deserve it in the first place. I want to love someone. I want to wake up in the morning and be warm because you're next to me. I want breakfast in bed on Sundays, complete with a newspaper, eggs over easy, two slices of wheat toast and a huge glass of chocolate milk. I want my house to be 65 degrees all the time so I always have an excuse to wear sweaters. I want my thighs to go away but my ass to stay in tact. I don't want to wear glasses anymore, because nobody can appreciate my eyes with these things on. I want my gray hair to go away. I'm 21, I have enough shit to worry about, I don't need anymore damn gray hairs. I want to be successful. I want to be comfortable and satisfied, but still motivated. I want to make a sufficient income being a photographer. I want to own a restaurant, or a bar. Preferably a cafe by day, bar by night. I want a new guitar, so I can practice and play awesome songs at my cafe/bar, which will be tastefully decorated with photos I've taken over the years. I want to own a minor league baseball team, and only charge a dollar for everything on the menu. I want a new couch because my big old behind doesn't fit on mine. I want my mom to get married so I can kill her husband and take all his money. Did I just say that? I never want Willie to die. Ever.

I want someone to care because I deserve it. I want to be able to trust, love, and give everything to someone, because they deserve it. I want someone to deserve it. I need someone to deserve it. I want to feel beautiful, confident, alluring, and sophisticated. I generally feel dreary, incompetent and lonely. I want all of my anxiety and depression problems to go away without medication or some fucking shrink. I want to win the lottery. Fourteen million, preferably. That's all I need.

I want it all.

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 12:04:47 GMT

hey, guess what.

i'm scared.

everybody's gotta learn sometimes

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 21:02:27 GMT

for the most part my shit is back on track. i really like who i am and who i surround myself with. there are still a few people in my life that i'm not as close to as i'd like to be, but they'll come around. i'll make sure of it. all i really want right now is a kitty and air conditioning.

and i couldn't have said it better myself....

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
Cause I've been in love before
And I've found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure from the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you
Oh, now please don't run and hide
If I love you too
Oh, please don't hurt my pride like her
Cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you'll see
That I would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
Cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if I knew love was in vain

So I hope you'll see
That I would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 21:43:45 GMT

Accentuated by the mobile dungeon of fluorescence,
As I fall out of love, this wasn’t supposed to happen,
Not according to you.

Please don’t allow your voice to fade,
Don’t fall so weak to fault or blame,
To give yourself reason for an end.

Please don’t allow your voice to fade,
Don’t fall so weak to fault or blame,
To give yourself reason for an end.

We’d have our own subway car in the middle of the night,
I’d work the same job and play the same bars on every weekend,
As the graffiti scrolls by.

Please don’t allow your voice to fade,
Don’t fall so weak to fault for blame,
To give yourself reason for an end.

Please don’t allow your voice to fade,
Don’t fall so weak to fault for blame,
To give yourself reason for an end.

And at the end of your low,
You pin my shoulders against the mattress,
Arching your frame with your stomach pushed outward,
Your head tilting back with your mouth partially open,
The sounds slur and elevate slowly in volume,
When you wake up with your family gathered around,
Remember that our love was true,
And I will not allow you to destroy yourself, oh no.

And I hope that I'm not revealing too,
I hope that I'm not revealing too,
I hope that I'm not revealing too,
I hope that I'm not revealing too much, no too much.

We’d have our own subway car in the middle of the night,
I’d work the same job and play the same bars on every weekend,
As the graffiti scrolls by.

we were made for each other

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 03:41:59 GMT

sometimes i think i'm madly in love with this guy that doesn't exist. no, not mr. perfect... just a combination of all the things i love about all my guy friends. all the reasons i turn to each one for each of my feelings and desires. no matter what i'm thinking about, i know exactly who i want to talk about it with. and they always make me feel better, even if they don't give advice. even if they tell me i'm crazy. even if they cry with me.

they always help.

if i could put them all in one box, good lord... i'd be a happy fucking camper.

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 16:43:33 GMT

Last night someone complimented me in a way I don't think I've really been complimented before... and I was flattered. For the first time in my life I didn't have a smart ass remark to shoot back, and I couldn't even say thank you. I just kinda sat there.

Weird.

And yeah, I don't have a job, but I don't really care anymore. I think maybe this year I'll take some more photography classes, because I can. And I plan on numerous weekend roadtrips. In fact, Friday is a road trip. Who's coming?

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 16:40:38 GMT

Apparently I forgot one.

6 things you should do if you want to be cool like Brad:
06. let your hair grow out and have an awesome hat curl
05. live on the right side of the river
04. have an awesome album selection
03. make all your away messages super funny so that Lisa laughs at them all the time
02. be the kind of guy Lisa was referencing in entry 11622 and know you are, but also realize that you're superior to the rest because you understand your weakness. (Also note that even though you are a tool like that, you're still marvelous, so don't be afraid to act like it)
01. hang out with a cool girl named Lisa because she's only the funniest, smartest, most enjoyable person to be around ever.

There's your #6 boy. Happy?

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 18:44:31 GMT

OH SNAP BITCHES!

Gangsta
You scored 78 Street Knowledge points, 93 Culture points, 80 Gang Knowledge points, and 81 Thug Mentality points!

What kids on the block call the HNIC. Head ni**a in charge. A hard ass mofo that nobody best step to. Probably adorned with gang tats, and may have spent a few years 23 - 24. Either that...or you just looked a lot of the questions up. Anyhow, I'll stick to my best guess, an keep it real gangsta.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 94% on StreetKnowledg

You scored higher than 94% on Culture

You scored higher than 96% on GangKnowledge

You scored higher than 94% on ThugMental

Link: The What Kind of Thug are you Test written by paladinic on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 14:37:35 GMT

Ok, I've decided that this little department that sometimes consumes my days will be used solely for helping me realize that there are things i love, and how to keep myself happy during those "girly weeks" and also to express my opinions about different, trivial issues that i seem to face quite often. all these opinions are not meant to be "rants" or meant to be me "bitching" about anything. I'm generally a happy person, but I seem to have surrounded myself with people who think the latter.

First: The "nice guys finish last" fiasco.

-- In my life I've noticed that I generally have an equal amount of male and female friends. I am a firm believer that guys & dolls can be 'just friends' without any romantic tendencies, and these types of friendships can also be some of the most fulfilling. Now, there are a lot of my male friends who claim they are nice guys and that they can't find a girl who is willing to date them because most women are caught up on the 'bad boy' type, and while girls say they want a nice guy, they consistently go after the 'bad boy'. This leaves us in a heated argument nearly every time. My reasoning for going after the bad boy type of guy is simple. Most nice guys, this includes a variety of my male friends as well, aren't TRUE nice guys and they are also emotional messes. Ask any woman what they look for in a potential mate and you'll get similar answers. Most women, from my experience, want a man who is stable, both emotionally and financially, intelligent (we're not talking about a brain surgeon here, we're talking about someone who can hold a conversation longer than a commercial) and someone who has a good sense of humor. Let's face it guys, it's not hard to be all of those things. What I've noticed with the self-proclaimed 'nice guy' is that a majority of them have emotional issues, whether they stem from insecurities, past relationships, etc. is different in each person. Considering that stability is a key trait that women look for, these 'nice guys' don't fit the mold. I don't care if you'll open every door, pay every check, and ask about mother, you're still going to break down my level of stability at some point, because you're so bogged down with your own emotional issues that you can't get past the fact that maybe your nose is big, you're a little skinny/overweight, or that your ex-girlfriend cheated on you and now you think that every woman is a horrible, unfaithful person. Nice guys don't cut it anymore. Women also lean towards the 'bad boy' type because they're more of a challenge. They aren't so willing or so desperate therefore they keep meetings spaced out, resulting in a desire to see more of them, regardless of whether they're a good match or not.

Don't get ahead of yourself, because I'm not letting the women off the hook either. It seems as if a lot of my friends and acquaintances aren't satisfied if they aren't in a relationship. A lot of the women I've encountered, whether friends or enemies, are either insecure, clingy, depressed, or play the role of a 'victim'. It seems women fall into the same rut that the 'nice guy' falls into, thus resulting in a lack of male attention, therefore they retaliate by degrading themselves, their bodies or their minds.

It's really a crazy, in-depth cycle that we all live in and experience every day. Hey, if all you guys out there stop thinking that you're the proverbial 'nice guy' and all the chicks start being confident and stop being afraid to express true feelings, instead of settling for someone unsatisfying, then we'll all be a little bit better, won't we?

banana pancakes

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 02:37:23 GMT

10 Random Things About Me.
10. i am very very emotional
09. i usually put up a "tough girl" front, but i'm a wuss, really.
08. my favorite color is green
07. i love to wear my cowboy boots, and blast punk music while driving down the road with my subwoofer blaring. it's great.
06. jack johnson songs make me want to fall in love
05. i want a new indigo scion tC. manual. now.
04. i really just love all kinds of potato.
03. i don't plan on living long, and i'm ok with that.
02. i'm not really a fan of my job right now. but then again, who is?
01. i can't touch my bellybutton

9 Places I've Visited.
09. boston
08. baltimore
07. spain
06. virginia
05. nyc
04. toronto
03. portland, maine
02. binghamton, ny
01. akron, oh

8 Things I want to do before I die
08. elope.
07. build my version of my grandparent's house
06. adopt a baby boy
05. visit every ballpark in america
04. visit all the minor league parks too.
03. own one hell of a fast car. ok, guilty pleasure, but i want one. just for a few weeks.
02. quit smoking successfully
01. be a bartender

7 Ways to win my heart.
07. like baseball
06. make me pancakes
05. remember things i say, and show me you remembered
04. laugh even when i'm not funny
03. drive like a crazy asshole, but still be safe :)
02. love animals
01. respect me

5 Things I'm afraid of.
05. losing my mom
04. unresolved issues
03. emo kids. eew.
02. terrorists. quite honestly.
01. planes. still.

4 Of my Favorite Items in my bedroom.
04. my nice firm bed
03. clothes. everywhere.
02. uh... 6 pillows
01. um... there's really nothing in my bedroom

3 Things I do everyday.
03. drive too fast
02. use the internet
01. swear at something

2 Things I am trying not to do right now.
02. smoke a butt
01. slouch

1 Person I want to strangle.
01. ha. i can't tell you that :)